From the office of the Jersey Shore Fantasy League Commissioner:
Vinny is slick mobbin. Jionni is a f***in wankster.
S409 “Three Men and a Snooki”
Vinny: 57.5
0:23 – playing a prank – 3
0:23 – intentional nudity – 7
0:56 – reading a book – 25
0:58 – hookup w/Snooki – 15×1.5 = 22.5
Deena: 50
0:26 – pregnancy scare – 50
Snooki: 44.5
0:01 – calls Jionni – 1
0:03 – crying (testimonial) – 4
0:06 – crying (on phone w/Dad) – 4
0:11 – crying (porch) – 4
0:13 – crying (on phone w/Jionni) – 4
0:18 – crying (door/stairs after Jionni leaves for his train) – 4
0:33 – calls Jionni – 1
0:58 – hookup w/Vinny – 15×1.5 = 22.5
DJ Pauly D: 5
0:02 – inappropriate work conduct (tossing tray at customer and blaming them) – 3
0:02 – yelled at by boss “Come on” – 2
J-Woww: 4
0:13 – crying (on phone w/Jionni) – 4
Mike: 0
Ronnie: 0
Sammi: 0
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Let’s briefly recap: Snooki and Jionni had broken up and Jionni had “departed for Rome.” Snooki and Jwoww begged Jionni to turn the train around and come back, somehow failing to grasp the nature of railroad tracks. Jwoww cried on the phone, putting up a standard Jwoww 4 point average.
Oh, and there was a pregnancy scare. We’re about 85% convinced that was a ratings gimmick/written plot twist. Deena’s not a good enough actress to pull off the depth of emotion inherent a real pregnancy scare. We’re just not buying.
Most importantly, Vinny returned to form. Not only did he smash Snooki (because she was in his bed, he couldn’t say no), but he also scored some “reading a book” points. A Jersey Shore first. Teams with Vinny crushed it this week.
Conversely, Ronnie and Sammi returned to standard fantasy league form with big goose eggs. And the Situation too! His historically low 8% Chance for Scoreless Episode (.08 CSE) is in jeopardy. He didn’t even say there was some sort of situation going on. That doesn’t happen often.
The story as far as we’re concerned though is all about the year of the meatball.
Within the league, the big stories are @ckalange running the show on one end, and then @owen_crowther putting up a JSFL first 0 point showing. That’s right: in the history of the Jersey Shore Fantasy League, no one has ever had their team score ZERO points. And it bumped him into last place. We feel like he’s going to be like:
Individual Player Scores
Vinny: 57.5 Deena: 50 Snooki: 44.5 DJ Pauly D: 5 Jwoww: 4 Situation: 0 Ronnie: 0 Sammi: 0Week 9 Line-Ups and Points
@mikedashin: Vinny star (115), Situation (0), Deena (50) = 165 @mattsisto: Snooki star (89), Vinny (57.5), Ronnie (0) = 146.5 @nikkimarkow: Snooki star (89), Vinny (57.5), Sammi (0) = 146.5 @bernietheballer: Deena star (100), Snooki (44.5), Ronnie (0) = 144.5 @ckalange: Snooki star (89), Deena (50), Ronnie (0) = 139 @poloshot: Vinny star (115), Situation (0), Jwoww (4) = 119 @ghostofpropjoe: Situation star (0), Deena (50), Vinny (57.5) = 107.5 @notpinnock: Deena star (100), Situation (0), Pauly D (5) = 105 @kingsburyq: Snooki star (89), Pauly D (5), Ronnie (0) = 94 @owen_crowther: Situation star (0), Ronnie (0), Sammi (0) = 0Week 9 Box Scores (Winning teams in Bold, ties in Red)
@kingsburyq 94 v. @ghostofpropjoe 107.5 @ghostofpropjoe 107.5 v. @kingsburyq 94 @ghostofpropjoe 107.5 v. @ckalange 139 @ckalange 139 v. @ghostofpropjoe 50 @ckalange 139 v. @owen_crowther 0 @owen_crowther 0 v. @ckalange 139 @owen_crowther 0 v. @mikedashin 165 @mikedashin 165 v. @owen_crowther 0 @poloshot 119 v. @bernietheballer 144.5 @poloshot 119 v. @nikkimarkow 146.5 @bernietheballer 144.5 v. @poloshot 119 @bernietheballer 144.5 v. @notpinnock 105 @nikkimarkow 146.5 v. @mattsisto 146.5 @nikkimarkow 146.5 v. @poloshot 119 @mattsisto 146.5 v. @nikkimarkow 146.5 @notpinnock 105 v. @bernietheballer 144.5Standings after Week 9
- @ckalange – 12-4 – (956.5 points)
- @notpinnock – 9-5-2 – (715 points)
- @ghostofpropjoe - 9-6-2 - (737 points)
- @mattsisto – 8-5-3 – (818 points)
- @kingsburyq – 7-6-3 – (743 points)
- @bernietheballer – 9-8 – (746.5 points)
- @mikedashin – 6-9-1 – (735 points)
- @poloshot – 6-11 – (544.5 points)
- @nikkimarkow – 5-11-1- (596 points)
- @owen_crowther – 5-11 – (439.5 points)
