Meatball Mayhem (Domestic Version): Week 3 Points and Standings

Posted on January 20, 2012 by admin

In the first two episodes of this season, Fantasy Owners had to wonder what they’d gotten themselves into with their first round Deena pick. During the draft one of the owners tweeted something along the lines of “She’s ugly, no one in America will touch her.” And through two episodes we all wondered if that was true.

It’s not. Deena had a monster night last night. Typically we’ve awarded accidental indecency points for every time one of the characters flashed their underwear in a different setting. In one commercial break Deena flashed her kooka six separate times, for 8 points a piece.  She also was a crying mess, and brought home a random and banged him. This turned into another episode of non-Deena owners cursing, and, if this is a regular thing, they must wondering if their teams can compete without the spicier meatball.

But they can also take heart in the triumphant return of DJ Pauly D. He has never had a season like this and if this pace continues, the Jersey Shore Fantasy League may come down to who managed to pick him up early.

Looking forward to next week, we have a Sammi fight, more Situation doing what Situation does, and almost definite meatball mayhem. This is still anyone’s season, despite @ckalange’s ridiculous, one week, 303 point assault (which may be a jsfl single episode scoring record). More on the points and the scoreboard after this picture of The Situation.

A Note on scoring:  There are a few potential points of dispute in this week’s episode. For one, the seemingly excessive “accidental indecency” points. Traditionally we’ve rewarded these points in every different circumstance for the TMZ-esque “Crotch Shot.” In this episode we tried to separate instances relative to what was going on in the background (where she was standing relative to the bar, who was standing behind her, whether Snooki was on her feet or not, etc…) We considered that maybe Deena’s dress was intentionally showing off her crotch, but ruled that out as ridiculous…… but maybe…..

We also were liberal with the Hook Up points. We used the “sheets over head” metric for most of them, but Situation’s final hook up with Paula we let slide on the Situation saying “Paula is usually dtf, and that’s why I like having her around.” Similarly, DJ Pauly D’s first hook up was based on the evidence of her getting dressed in the morning and him kissing her goodbye near the door.

Finally, we’ve chosen to interpret our “Leave show” points as Vinny not being in Seaside. You can make a case that he was in this episode because he was on camera, but given the extent of his fantasy performance (he didn’t put up any points, unlike Sammi crying when she went home), we’ve decided to award him the 10 points for his first episode away. Given similar circumstances next week, he’ll earn 9, 8 the following week, then 7, etc….

 

American Meatball Madness: S5, Ep 3 Scores

Deena: 86 points

 
Crying: 4
Crying:4
Sloppy Mess (toilet paper, bathroom crying): 3
Crying: 4
Accidental Indecency: 8
Accidental Indecency: 8
Accidental Indecency: 8
Accidental Indecency: 8
Sloppy Mess (falling in the bar): 3
Accidental Indecency: 8
Accidental Indecency: 8
Bring home random: 5
Hook-Up: 15

 

DJ Pauly D: 51 points

 
Say “situation”: 1
Bring home random: 5
Hook-up: 15
Bring home random: 5
Make out: 5
Hook-up: 15
Bring home random: 5

 

Situation: 46 points

 
Bring home random: 5
Hook-up: 15
Say “situation”: 1
Inappropriate work conduct (sleeping): 3
Say “situation”: 1
Say “situation”: 1
Hook-up: 15

 

Snooki: 34 points

Hook-up w/ Jionni: 15
Accidental Indecency: 8
Sloppy Mess (fall in bar): 3
Sloppy Mess (fall in bar w/ Deena): 3
Make out w/ Jionni: 5

 

Ronnie: 3 points

Play Prank (icing Situation): 3

 

Jwoww: 3 points

Inappropriate work conduct (sleeping): 3

 

Premiere League Line-ups and Team Scores

@ckalange: Star Deena (172), Snooki (34), Situation (46), DJ (51) = 303
@poloshot: Star Deena (172), Vinny (10), Situation (46), Jwoww (3) = 231
@jej2112: Star DJ (102), Deena (86), Ronnie (3), Jwoww (3) = 194
@mattsisto: Star Deena (172), Vinny (10), Ronnie (3), Sammi (0) = 185
@notpinnock: Star DJ (102), Snooki (34), Situation (46), Sammi (0) = 182
@twsamph: Star Snooki (68), Ronnie (3), Sammi (0), DJ (51) = 122
@colin_pagnam: Star Situation (92), Vinny (10), Ronnie (3), Jwoww (3) = 108
@kingsburyq: Star Snooki, (68), Vinny (10), Sammi (0), Jwoww (3) = 81

 

Premiere League Standings

  1. @ckalange – 484 points
  2. @notpinnock – 341 points
  3. @poloshot – 327 points
  4. @jej2112 – 279 points
  5. @twsamph – 258 points
  6. @mattsisto – 253 points
  7. @colin_pagnam – 197 points
  8. @kingsburyq – 190 points
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Ron Ron Juice (sorta) Gets the Party Started: Week 2 Points and Leaderboard

Posted on January 17, 2012 by admin

We know we’re a little late with this post, but in our defense we’ve been drinking way too much Ron Ron Juice. What happened last week?

  • Pauly got his bling stolen
  • Ron made Ron-Ron Juice and then disappeared with Sammi for the episode
  • The Situation showed us a new creepy side wherein he is obsessed with getting Jionni to wear his underwear

We’re going to talk more about this in the podcast I’m sure but how creepy is the Situation? I feel like I write that all the time. But Snooki asked to borrow a shirt. Then the Situation followed her around insisting that he take his underwear too. Bro, I banged your girl and now you’re wearing my underwear! It’s like my dick is your dick! In your face!

The shit is just weird.

I also have the unpleasant feeling that all this is staged. They’ve advanced to a whole different level of camera action. The scene where it was most obvious was when Vinny was talking to Danny about his sudden and over-whelming anxiety. Anyone else notice how eerily similar that particular scene was to something from the Hills? It even had the terrible acting!

Speaking of terrible acting, you know it’s scripted when Pauly D and Ronnie are trying to convince Vinny to stay. Guys, just stick to getting drunk please and banging randoms please.

But I digress. Sorry for ripping the episode, I didn’t hate it as much as this write-up might suggest. Now let’s do some points like Deena does sex (after this picture of Jwoww). We’re also going to include some notes on scoring after the scores. ANYWAYS….

Situation’s Underwear: Week 2 Scores

Vinny: 31

Late to Work – 3
“Situation” – 1
“Roommate” – 1
“Roommates” – 1
Leave Show – 25
 

DJ Pauly D: 26

Bring Home Random – 5
Hook-Up – 15
Make-Out – 5
“Situation” – 1
 

Situation: 21

Bring Home Random – 5
“Situation” – 1
Hook-Up – 15
 

Snooki: 18

Call BF – 1
“Roommate” – 1
Accidental Indecency- 8
Sloppy Mess – 3
Make-Out – 5
 

Deena: 10

Make-Out – 5
Bring Home Random – 5
 

A Note on Scoring: There were a few possible points of contention in this weeks episode, as well as a clarification for how Vinny’s “Leave the Show” points will work.

The first was a Situation hook up before the first commercial break that is not accounted for here. We saw him bring home the random, but aside from her walking in the door, we saw little else. Similarly, the same girl came over later in the episode (no longer a random) but we did see a flash of them in bed and her leaving in the morning. We chose in this instance to count the Hook-Up but not the random.

We also saw Deena make-out with and bring home a random, but didn’t reward Hook-Up points. In most instances with Deena she will say that she smooshed or gave up the Golden Kooka Ticket. There just wasn’t enough evidence to give her the hook-up this time around.

Finally, Vinny’s leaving the show points will work like this going forward: he’s been rewarded 25 points for leaving. Each week he’s gone will see a declining point value starting at 10 points and subtracting one point every week he’s gone. For instance, if he isn’t featured on camera AT ALL next week he will earn 10 points. If in week 4 he isn’t featured at all, he’ll earn 9, 8 in week five, 7 in week 6, etc… The catch is that if he’s featured on Camera, he’s active for the episode and earns points like everyone else. Adjust your strategy accordingly.

Premiere League Team Scores and Standings after this HOTTT Deena bikini picture…

How good looking is she?????

Premiere League Team Scores

@ckalange: Star DJ (52), play Snooki (18), Deena (10), Sitch (21) = 101
@notpinnock: Star Snooki (36), play Sitch (21), Sammi (0), DJ (26) = 83
@colin_pagnam: Star Sitch (42), play Vinny (31), Ronnie (0), Jwoww (0) = 73
@poloshot: Star Deena (20), play Vinny (31), Sitch (21), Jwoww (0) = 72
@kingsburyq: Star Snooki (36), play Vinny (31), Sammi (0), Jwoww(0) = 67
@twsamph: Star Snooki (36), play Ronnie (0), Sammi (0), DJ (26) = 62
@mattsisto: Star Deena (20), Vinny (31), Ronnie (0), Sammi (0) = 51
@jej2112: Star Deena (20), DJ (26), Jwoww (0), Ronnie (0) = 46
 

Premiere League Standings

  1. @ckalange – 181
  2. @notpinnock – 159
  3. @twsamph – 136
  4. @kingsburyq – 109
  5. @poloshot – 96
  6. @colin_pagnam – 89
  7. @jej2112 – 85
  8. @mattsisto – 68

 

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Jersey Shore Fantasy League Podcast: Week 1 Breakdown and What-to-Expect

Posted on January 6, 2012 by admin

We sat down with two-time JSFL Champion @ckalange to discuss what happened on last night’s episode, what to expect this season, and how Jersey Shore Fantasy Leaguers can prepare for the upcoming Jersey Shore season. Enjoy. Fist pumps!

Jersey Shore Fantasy League Podcast

Jersey Shore Fantasy League Podcast Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
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I Feel Tanorexic: Jersey Shore Fantasy League Scores and Leaderboard

Posted on January 6, 2012 by admin

The first episode is in the books. A huge showing from DJ Pauly D and Snooki. Typically first episodes are filler with little action. But this time we saw hook ups in the least expected places. DJ Pauly D may have scored more points this episode than he did all last season! Let’s see how it broke down:

 

Jersey Shore Season 5, Episode 1 Raw Scores

 

Snooki: 25

“Seaside bitches!” – 1

Call BF – 1

Crying – 4

Crying – 4

Hook up – 15

 

DJ Pauly D: 22

“Seaside bitches!” – 1

“Situation” – 1

Make-out – 5

Hook up – 15

 

Jwoww: 6

“Seaside bitches!” – 1

Make-out – 5

 

Vinny: 5

“Seaside bitches!” – 1

Crying – 4

 

Deena: 5

“Seaside bitches!” – 1

Crying – 4

 

Situation: 3

“Seaside bitches!” – 1

“Situation” – 1

“Situation” – 1

 

Ronnie: 1

“Seaside bitches!” – 1

 

Sammi: 1

“Seaside bitches!” – 1

 

********************************************************************

Premiere League Team Scores

 

@ckalange: Star Snooki (50), Deena (5), Situation (3), DJ (22) = 80

@notpinnock: Star Snooki (50), Situation (3), Sammi (1), DJ (22) = 76

@twsamph: Star Snooki (50), Ronnie (1), Sammi (1), DJ (22) = 74

@kingsburyq: Star Vinny (10), Snooki (25), Sammi (1), Jwoww (6) = 42

@jej2112: Star Deena (10), DJ (22), Jwoww (6), Ronnie (1) = 39

@poloshot: Star Deena (10), Vinny (5), Situation (3), Jwoww (6) = 24

@mattsisto: Star Deena (10), Vinny (5), Sammi (1), Ronnie (1) = 17

@colin_pagnam: Star Ronnie (2), Vinny (5), Situation (3), Jwoww (6) = 16

 

Week 1 Premiere League Leaderboard

  1. @ckalange – 80
  2. @notpinnock – 76
  3. @twsamph – 74
  4. @kingsburyq – 42
  5. @jej2112 – 39
  6. @poloshot – 24
  7. @mattsisto – 17
  8. @colin_pagnam – 16
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The Jersey Shore Fantasy League: Season 5 Big Draft Post

Posted on January 6, 2012 by admin

Another draft in the books! We had an awesome time last night, and we hope you did too. Now let’s get to the draft analysis and teams…

Deena and Snooki were the most valued players in the draft, despite not being taken with the first pick. The most shocking change over the years has been the Situation’s plummeting draft stock. Not that you can blame fantasy owners: the dude is getting creepier and creepier. Meeting his friend the Unit didn’t help any. @poloshot said it best: “Jersey Shore has taught me not to trust any man whose name starts with “the” #JSFL” But we digress. Let’s do some draft like Deena does sex!

 

Round 1

1) @colin_pagnam – Ronnie

2) @poloshot – Deena

3) @kingsburyQ – Snooki

4) @notpinnock – Snooki

5) @ckalange – Deena

6) @mattsisto – Deena

7) @jej2112 – Deena (Deena off the board)

8 ) @twsamph – Snooki

 

Round 2

1) @twsamph – Ronnie

2) @jej2112 – DJ Pauly D

3) @mattsisto – Vinny

4) @ckalange – Snooki (Snooki off the board)

5) @notpinnock – the Situation

6) @kingsburyq – Vinny

7) @poloshot – Vinny

8 ) @colin_pagnam – Vinny (Vinny off the board)


Round 3

1) @colin_pagnam – the Situation

2) @poloshot – the Situation

3) @kingsburyq – Sammi Sweetheart

4) @notpinnock – Sammi Sweetheart

5) @ckalange – the Situation (the Situation off the board)

6) @mattsisto – Sammi Sweetheart

7) @jej2112 – Jwoww

8 ) @twsamph – Sammi Sweetheart (Sammi off the board)

 

Round 4

1) @twsamph – DJ Pauly D

2) @jej2112 – Ronnie

3) @mattsisto – Ronnie (Ronnie off the board)

4) @ckalange – DJ Pauly D

5) @notpinnock – DJ Pauly D (DJ Pauly D off the board)

6) @kingsburyq – Jwoww

7) @poloshot – Jwoww

8 ) @colin_pagnam – Jwoww (Jwoww off the board)


Jersey Shore Fantasy League Premiere League Teams

@colin_pagnam: Ronnie, Vinny, Situation, Jwoww

@poloshot: Deena, Vinny,Situation, Jwoww

@kingsburyq: Snooki, Vinny, Sammi, Jwoww

@notpinnock: Snooki, Situation, Sammi, DJ Pauly D

@ckalange: Deena, Snooki, Situation, DJ Pauly D

@mattsisto: Deena, Vinny, Sammi, Ronnie

@jej2112: Deena, DJ Pauly D, Jwoww, Ronnie

@twsamph: Snooki, Ronnie, Sammi, DJ Pauly D

 

And just like that we’re off! Who do you like this year? Anything can happen. We like teams with Snooki and Situation, but MTV has a great habit of showing a lot and leaving off two or three huge events. We shall see. Thanks for playing. Fist pumps.

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The Jersey Shore Fantasy League: Podcast Introduction and Draft Strategies

Posted on January 5, 2012 by admin

Hello friends- We’re working on getting full podcast support through iTunes but first we wanted to post our first podcast (just @mattsisto talking Jersey Shore) to see how it works. This one is all about the Decline of DJ Pauly D, Deena’s Draft Value, Sammi’s unstoppable crying point MVPness, and much much more. Plus it’s only 9 minutes! Click the link:

RVC Podcast #1

 

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Jersey Shore Fantasy League: Getting Ready for the Draft

Posted on January 4, 2012 by admin

If you’re reading this then you’re getting ready for your first Jersey Shore Fantasy League Draft. We are pumping our fists with excitement. It’s pretty easy, but there are a few things you should know.

Each Jersey Shore Character is available four times. That means that in the first round, the Situation could go to the first four teams consecutively and then be off the board. The draft moderator (@thejsfl) will alert people as to how many of each character are available as he sees the need arise.

The only real Draft Rules are that you may not select the same player twice, and that in later rounds you cannot select a player that would make your team identical to another. The draft moderator will alert players if they are unable to make a pick. This usually doesn’t happen until the 4th round. Advanced draft strategies can plot around trying to force people into picks, but generally the best draft strategy is to figure out what you value early on and try to arrange your team around it. For instance:

  • Do you think the guys are due for a resurgence after a quiet fantasy year in Italy?
  • Do you think the proximity to Club Karma will directly affect the Situation’s ability to bring home randoms?
  • Have the blog rumors about Pauly D not hooking up forced him into a position where he must bring home randoms and smash them?
  • Is Deena over-valued after an anomaly season in which she lit up the Fantasy World?
  • With Vinny’s rumored departure, do you anticipate a large fight (22.5 points) to force him out of the house? As point values for leaving the house are scaled to departure time, do you think it’ll happen sooner or later and is it worth the gamble of having a smaller team after he leaves?

All this and more coming your way tomorrow night at 9 pm during the official Jersey Shore Fantasy League Draft. Now pump those fists!

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Interview with a JSFL Championship Contender: @mattsisto

Posted on October 19, 2011 by admin

We had time to sit down with @mattsisto to discuss a few things going into Season 4 #JSFL Premiere League title match against @ckalange this Thursday. Here’s what he had to say (plus a few pictures to break it up):

Championship Contender, The People’s Champion, @mattsisto

@TheJSFL: You’re stepping in the ring with a perennial favorite in @ckalange. He’s stacked with Deena and Snooki, Ronnie and Sammi in reserve. Realistically what do you expect tomorrow?

@mattsisto: It’s going to be a tough match-up, no doubt. But that’s why you play the games. A big night from Vinny could change everything given that we’ll both star Snooki and play Ron. Bad blood between him and Situation has been brewing for years, so I’m hopeful.

@TheJSFL: So you’re putting all your eggs in the Vinny basket then?

@mattsisto: It’s either him or Pauly, and if we’re playing just the numbers Vinny has a lower CSE, higher PPE, and higher over-all point total. They’ve both been slumping recently but this is a title game: Vinny will show up.

@TheJSFL: We’ve already asked @ckalange, but what do you expect from the title match episode?

@mattsisto: A lot actually. I think in the past they wrap it up, but this season feels different. With all the Situation drama, the discussion of whose living where, I anticipate a cliff-hanger fight actually.

@TheJSFL: Seriously? That’s unprecedented.

@mattsisto: You heard it here first. Heighten the drama for the final Jersey Shore season in Seaside.

@TheJSFL: So really your Vinny play is calculated? Or are you just trying to freak out @ckalange?

@mattsisto: @ckalange is way too much of a competitor to be freaked out by mind games. He’ll play his best line-up every show. The fact that I might know something doesn’t mean anything.

@TheJSFL: So you know something?

@mattsisto (laughing): I know nothing.

@TheJSFL: People have compared you to Alex Rodriguez in the end of the season. Do you feel you have anything to prove when it comes to your reputation as a “choke artist?”

@mattsisto: I don’t hear that kind of talk. The media is always looking for a story and that was it for a while after my first two years in the league. But I finished in 2nd and 3rd place respectively. I’m not ashamed of that.

@TheJSFL: You sound a little upset…

@mattsisto: Look… you play to win the game. You don’t play it to just play it. Would I have liked to win, yes. Are there things I could have done differently? Of course. But I am where I am because of those tough beats. Everyone called picking Snooki a choke. Well guess what? All those people are playing golf and eating bonbons. Maybe after I win I’ll show them my ring.

@TheJSFL: Ultimately, how do you see yourself in this league, both with and without a ring.

@mattsisto: Look, I can’t think of a ring without smiling. It’s the difference between being an original member like @poloshot and @notpinnock, and then an original member with the title belt. A title cements my belief that I truly am an elite player in a way that three top three finishes can’t touch. I want this. It’s my time.

@TheJSFL: Thanks for taking the time to talk with us. Good luck tomorrow.

@mattsisto: My pleasure. I’ll see you guys for my victory press conference when I’m covered in champagne.

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Never Before Seen (by us) Picture of Our Girl Jwoww

Posted on October 19, 2011 by admin

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Jersey Shore Fantasy League: The Championship Match Ups and Betting Lines

Posted on October 18, 2011 by admin

This season is rapidly drawing to a close, but there’s still plenty of time to hype up what’s left. We’re planning on an advanced statistical analysis of why Deena is the single greatest Jersey Shore Fantasy League player of all time. One season, all bets are off, Deena is the queen. But first, let’s get into the match-ups this week and see what has to happen for the four remaining teams to prevail.

The Title Match

In the title match we have @mattsisto against @ckalange. Let’s look at the teams:

  • @mattsisto has Snooki, Vinny, Ronnie, and DJ Pauly D
  • @ckalange has Snooki, Deena, Ronnie and Sammi.

So how are we thinking about handicapping this match? Assuming neither team plays their fourth player, obviously @ckalange has an advantage if Deena plays to her talents. Vinny hasn’t shown up all year and it’s unlikely he will in the final episode. They’d both benefit from a big night from Ronnie, so really this one is all but in the books for @ckalange. Odds:

@ckalange: -900, +/- 33.5 team points

@mattsisto: +900, +/- 25.5 team points

The Consolation Contest

I just want you all to know how much it pained me putting up that picture of my boy Roger and that vagabond Rafa. ANYWAYS…

@ghostofpropjoe and @bernietheballer play for the consolation title this Jerzday. @ghostofpropjoe is last years’ champion whose late week showings just weren’t enough to keep an aggressive @kingsburyQ at bay. @Bernietheballer had a roster to win a championship, but lackluster management led Bernie to the consolation contest. Here’s how they’re lined up:

  • @ghostofpropjoe: Situation, Vinnie, Deena, DJ Pauly D
  • @Bernietheballer: Snooki, Ronnie, Jwoww, Deena

We like Bernie with Snooki and Deena. That said, Situation is obviously capable of a big week. This match could go either way. Let’s look at some odds:

@bernietheballer: -350, +/- 33.5 points

@ghostofpropjoe: +350, +/- 31.5 points

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