In the first two episodes of this season, Fantasy Owners had to wonder what they’d gotten themselves into with their first round Deena pick. During the draft one of the owners tweeted something along the lines of “She’s ugly, no one in America will touch her.” And through two episodes we all wondered if that was true.
It’s not. Deena had a monster night last night. Typically we’ve awarded accidental indecency points for every time one of the characters flashed their underwear in a different setting. In one commercial break Deena flashed her kooka six separate times, for 8 points a piece. She also was a crying mess, and brought home a random and banged him. This turned into another episode of non-Deena owners cursing, and, if this is a regular thing, they must wondering if their teams can compete without the spicier meatball.
But they can also take heart in the triumphant return of DJ Pauly D. He has never had a season like this and if this pace continues, the Jersey Shore Fantasy League may come down to who managed to pick him up early.
Looking forward to next week, we have a Sammi fight, more Situation doing what Situation does, and almost definite meatball mayhem. This is still anyone’s season, despite @ckalange’s ridiculous, one week, 303 point assault (which may be a jsfl single episode scoring record). More on the points and the scoreboard after this picture of The Situation.
A Note on scoring: There are a few potential points of dispute in this week’s episode. For one, the seemingly excessive “accidental indecency” points. Traditionally we’ve rewarded these points in every different circumstance for the TMZ-esque “Crotch Shot.” In this episode we tried to separate instances relative to what was going on in the background (where she was standing relative to the bar, who was standing behind her, whether Snooki was on her feet or not, etc…) We considered that maybe Deena’s dress was intentionally showing off her crotch, but ruled that out as ridiculous…… but maybe…..
We also were liberal with the Hook Up points. We used the “sheets over head” metric for most of them, but Situation’s final hook up with Paula we let slide on the Situation saying “Paula is usually dtf, and that’s why I like having her around.” Similarly, DJ Pauly D’s first hook up was based on the evidence of her getting dressed in the morning and him kissing her goodbye near the door.
Finally, we’ve chosen to interpret our “Leave show” points as Vinny not being in Seaside. You can make a case that he was in this episode because he was on camera, but given the extent of his fantasy performance (he didn’t put up any points, unlike Sammi crying when she went home), we’ve decided to award him the 10 points for his first episode away. Given similar circumstances next week, he’ll earn 9, 8 the following week, then 7, etc….
American Meatball Madness: S5, Ep 3 Scores
Deena: 86 pointsCrying: 4 Crying:4 Sloppy Mess (toilet paper, bathroom crying): 3 Crying: 4 Accidental Indecency: 8 Accidental Indecency: 8 Accidental Indecency: 8 Accidental Indecency: 8 Sloppy Mess (falling in the bar): 3 Accidental Indecency: 8 Accidental Indecency: 8 Bring home random: 5 Hook-Up: 15
DJ Pauly D: 51 pointsSay “situation”: 1 Bring home random: 5 Hook-up: 15 Bring home random: 5 Make out: 5 Hook-up: 15 Bring home random: 5
Situation: 46 pointsBring home random: 5 Hook-up: 15 Say “situation”: 1 Inappropriate work conduct (sleeping): 3 Say “situation”: 1 Say “situation”: 1 Hook-up: 15
Snooki: 34 pointsHook-up w/ Jionni: 15 Accidental Indecency: 8 Sloppy Mess (fall in bar): 3 Sloppy Mess (fall in bar w/ Deena): 3 Make out w/ Jionni: 5
Ronnie: 3 pointsPlay Prank (icing Situation): 3
Jwoww: 3 pointsInappropriate work conduct (sleeping): 3
Premiere League Line-ups and Team Scores@ckalange: Star Deena (172), Snooki (34), Situation (46), DJ (51) = 303 @poloshot: Star Deena (172), Vinny (10), Situation (46), Jwoww (3) = 231 @jej2112: Star DJ (102), Deena (86), Ronnie (3), Jwoww (3) = 194 @mattsisto: Star Deena (172), Vinny (10), Ronnie (3), Sammi (0) = 185 @notpinnock: Star DJ (102), Snooki (34), Situation (46), Sammi (0) = 182 @twsamph: Star Snooki (68), Ronnie (3), Sammi (0), DJ (51) = 122 @colin_pagnam: Star Situation (92), Vinny (10), Ronnie (3), Jwoww (3) = 108 @kingsburyq: Star Snooki, (68), Vinny (10), Sammi (0), Jwoww (3) = 81
Premiere League Standings
- @ckalange – 484 points
- @notpinnock – 341 points
- @poloshot – 327 points
- @jej2112 – 279 points
- @twsamph – 258 points
- @mattsisto – 253 points
- @colin_pagnam – 197 points
- @kingsburyq – 190 points